How to survive a book launch without swearing at your kids

Trying to look all professional and authory

Two babies, four years of sleep-deprivation, postnatal depression, food banks, rejections, coffee and a lot of swearing and finally my book is out!

So I had a little launch in Waterstones like a grown up author type…I have dreamt of this moment for so many years but when it actually happened- I have to be honest I was as nervous as hell!

So thank you to everyone who came along to support me, pass me pens, Prosecco, books and basically everything else I kept forgetting.

Here is how I survived and managed NOT to swear: 

1. Get drunk before you make your speech

I am crap at public speaking. So much so I went with my daughter’s advice which was ‘just say fart mummy, everyone laughs at farts.’   I also forgot the amazing First Book Launch Speech stuff I have been rehearsing in my mirror since I was about 9-years-old. I think the mistake I made was ‘trying not to drink too much’ beforehand in case I ended up looking like a drunken idiot. However, in hindsight, a drunken idiot would have been better than just an idiot.

2. Do not bring your kids or if you do, do not expect them to STFU during your speech

Kids do not give a crap about it being a very important day in your life and will STILL nag you for £1.50 for bloody Waterstones toys when you are attempting to make a speech. They will also scribble on your book and ask you to take them to the toilet every five minutes.

3. Invite bloody lovely people

As well as the family and friends I got to come along by promising them free booze, I was so pleased to meet a few actual sleep-deprived mums who follow me on Facebook.  They were just as funny and lovely as I had imagined them to be! I also met the gorgeous Beth from Little Dot Company who made my goody bags. She came along with some of her Sleep is for the Weak merch and she was so lovely most of my friends are now a bit in love with her now! And the awesome illustrator Lorna Cowley also came along to sign some books and bring an element of youthful cool to the event!

BUT the best thing about inviting bloody lovely people is that they helped to raise some money for Home-Start South Leicestershire!  Home-Start supported me through my dark days of postnatal depression and I just felt I wanted to give them (a very very little) something back.

So anyway, I did it. I hosted my first book launch. My dream came true. Ok, so in my actual ‘dream’ things went far more smoothly, I made a funny but poignant speech, the kids were angels and I was cool, calm and confident throughout…but what would have been the fun in that?

Sleep is for the Weak: How to survive when your baby won’t go the fzzk to sleep is available on Amazon now!! 

Thank you to everyone who featured in the goody bags Nibbling UK, Nom Nom Kids, Little Dot, Freyda’s Pantry, Well Roasted Coffee and thanks to those who donated to the prize draw Two Birds Spirits, The Kitchen Range Cook Shop, Jojo Maman Bebe and Mums Back.


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