Five Things That Will NOT Help Your Child Do Well At School

SCHHOLIt’s fast-approaching that time of year when many parents will be preparing to send their little ones off to school or pre-school for the very first time…

When I say preparing, I mean, lying awake at night worrying about the best way to get your child ready for this important milestone.

How can I help my child do well at school? What if she hates it? What if she cries at the school gates? What if I cry at the school gates? How can I make sure she eats her lunch? Will Best of Both bread be frowned upon? Continue reading

7 Reasons The Beach is Rubbish (According To My Babies)

yuckWE walked to the beach singing, “Oh I do like to be beside the seaside.” The baby was smiling in her pram as the toddler skipped along beside her. She spotted the sea, grabbed her bucket and ran down to the shore laughing, while the baby looked on and smiled. I ran after my daughter in a designer tankini that had absolutely no nipple leak stains on it what so ever (cue Baywatch music) and joined her for a paddle. Continue reading

HOW TO SURVIVE WHEN YOUR BABY WILL NOT GO THE F**K TO SLEEP

tipsAfter reading (probably) all of the lists of tips for sleep-deprived parents on the entire internet, (including Ten Ways To Tell You Are Sleep Deprived – der, I am not getting any sleep?!)  it seems that all I need to do to feel better is to eat nuts, do yoga and sleep when the baby sleeps.

Well, I have no time for yoga, my baby doesn’t sleep and the only nuts I consume are in a Snickers bar –  so I came up with my own list… Continue reading

How NOT To Get Your Baby To Go To Sleep

not to sleepMy first baby did not like to sleep.

My second baby does not like to sleep.

The first time around we tried everything.

The second time around we tried everything else.

Turns out everything and everything else do not work on my babies…

However, after spending the past three years trying to get babies to go to sleep and stay asleep when they do not want to be asleep, I have a pretty good idea of how not to do it. Continue reading