Welcome to my brand new newsletter for anyone who is lying in the dark waiting for a small human to fall asleep, bored or just really likes reading newsletters.
A bit about this newsletter….
1) Why are you writing a newsletter instead of sleeping or drinking a nice glass of wine?
To share news in the form of a letter with you. Mostly because no one in my house gives a shit about my news. They only care about snacks and going to the fucking park. Of course, there is a big chance that you don’t give a shit either. And you’ll get so bored reading this that you click on a Google Ad just to get away from me, in which case you just made me 0.000001p which was all part of my plan, SUCKER!
2) What will be IN this newsletter?
On a good day I’ll share the important stuff I have been writing like this investigative piece about a mysterious condition my children develop as soon as I switch off their light and say goodnight – you can check it out here ↓
WHY is it that when you co-sleep with your child, everyone else is far more worried about it than you?
First, you get the ‘Rod For Your Own Back’ people who are absolutely TERRIFIED for your future for some reason.
Then there are the People Weirdly Anxious About Your Sex Life. Even if, In A Bed At Night was the only place you and your partner could possibly ever have sex (if you weren’t too tired from ‘HELLO’ having a baby) WHY do these people even care if I’m getting any? STOP THINKING ABOUT ME SHAGGING YOU PERVERTS.
Next, are the most annoying of all, the ones that are obsessed with ‘self soothing’ and don’t seem to understand that BABIES ARE BABIES AND IT IS OUR JOB TO SOOTHE THEM, YOU WANKERS.
HAVE you almost passed out doing Pantley or cried yourself out following Ford?
Are you too damn tired to try another stupid ‘revolutionary’ sleep technique that probably won’t work any way? Then help is at hand!
The Institute of Actual Real Life People With Babies has come up with an effort-free guide especially for the extremely exhausted parent.
G.O.T.O.S.L.E.E.P a pioneering method featured in my new book Sleep is for the Weak– is the only no-stress method that actually guarantees to get ANY baby to sleep through the night…eventually. Continue reading →