As it is World Poetry Day – I wrote a little poem (totally procrastinating from work)…
For anyone who has ever battled with feeling you should cherish the moment while simultaneously wishing it was over…
THE LAST TIME (THANK GOD FOR THAT OR NOT…WHATEVER…)
This may be the last time you sleep on my chest,
I should cherish it now and start feeling blessed.
BUT THEN AGAIN…
This may be the last time I’m trapped under you
Exhausted and lonely and needing the loo.
This may be the last time you feed from my breast,
I should try to enjoy it and stop feeling stressed
BUT THEN AGAIN… Continue reading
You are in the supermarket.
The man in the front of you in the queue is paying in pennies.
The woman behind him has a FULL trolley.
The check out girl has called for a supervisor.
You have milk, nappies, a toddler and a screaming baby. Continue reading
Welcome to Baby-Trapped: Some things to entertain, inspire and pass the time when your baby won’t go the f*ck to sleep…
1) The Good news
Today is a big day. Tomorrow morning I will wake up to a new era. After months and months of thinking about it and stressing about it, I made my decision and went for it…. Continue reading
Thanks to the Internet we now have parenting tips available to us 24 hours a day!
While we might occasionally stumble across some helpful advice, most of it is either totally useless or appears to assume that parents are idiots.
One area in which there is an abundance of guidance from ‘experts’ is how to get a baby to sleep.
HAVE you almost passed out doing Pantley or cried yourself out following Ford?
Are you too damn tired to try another stupid ‘revolutionary’ sleep technique that probably won’t work any way? Then help is at hand!
The Institute of Actual Real Life People With Babies has come up with an effort-free guide especially for the extremely exhausted parent.
G.O.T.O.S.L.E.E.P is the only no-stress method that actually guarantees to get ANY baby to sleep through the night…eventually. Continue reading
Best selling book The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep promises to get children to sleep in MINUTES… After reading it to my children I was inspired to write my own bed time story for the little ones who do NOT want to fall asleep…
ONCE upon a time there was a baby girl who did not want to fall asleep.
She would much rather stay up all night having fun, playing and laughing than to …fall asleep (shush now darling, let mummy read the nice story).
Her tired parents would embark on the same routine at the same time every single night in order to get her to fall asleep (stop hitting me in the face). Continue reading
I have a confession to make.
I secretly hate parents of babies who sleep through the night.
Ok, maybe hate is a bit of a strong word. I don’t actually hate them; it is more that sometimes I want to punch them in the face. I am aware this is wrong and I apologise to all my friends with sleepy babies.
It is simply a result of exhausted irritation and just plain jealousy. Continue reading