Welcome to my brand new newsletter for anyone who is lying in the dark waiting for a small human to fall asleep, bored or just really likes reading newsletters.
A bit about this newsletter….
1) Why are you writing a newsletter instead of sleeping or drinking a nice glass of wine?
To share news in the form of a letter with you. Mostly because no one in my house gives a shit about my news. They only care about snacks and going to the fucking park. Of course, there is a big chance that you don’t give a shit either. And you’ll get so bored reading this that you click on a Google Ad just to get away from me, in which case you just made me 0.000001p which was all part of my plan, SUCKER!
2) What will be IN this newsletter?
On a good day I’ll share the important stuff I have been writing like this investigative piece about a mysterious condition my children develop as soon as I switch off their light and say goodnight – you can check it out here ↓
Kid perfectly fit and well all day has 6,000 ailments at bedtime
And also this piece about my current bag situation…link below ↓
Woman’s handbag basically a dustbin with leather handles
I might even tell you about things i wrote that will be on the actual TV like this:
OR, on a bad day I might just email you a shopping list or a picture of my left foot.
There’ll also be some AMAZING poetry like this….
it’s ok to lose your shit
because if you keep your shit
you’ll end up full of shit
and you’ll explode
and there’d be shit everywhere
A shit storm
And nobody wants that.
– Emily-Jane Clark
— Emily-Jane Clark (@EmilyJaneClark) August 27, 2019
I might also talk a bit about sleep and kids because that is probably how some of you got here. Although, my kids go to sleep now (so that’s the Sleep is for the Weak sequel down the drain) I still have a little bed crasher but let’s gloss over that. BUT I ‘m still TIRED . Mostly because I lie awake thinking about all the stuff like this
3) Is this entire newsletter just going to be about this newsletter?
of course not. In fact, it’s about to get really exciting.
4) The exciting bit
I am doing a NEW newsletter! (sorry).
5) In other news..
A lot of people have messaged me asking whether I am writing another book. The answer is YES but it won’t be about sleep because as I may have mentioned my bastard kids have started sleeping now. I suppose i could have another baby…but I am way too tired and busy and just really don’t want another baby. I am currently working as a comedy writer (or writer of bollocks for money as I call it) for various places including The Daily Mash and Mash Report (NEW series starts in September by the way) in between writing a novel for early readers (because I promised my kids I would write something with NO swearing in it) and a non-fiction book full of all the random poetry, dialogue and nonsense I scribbled in my diary during the first few years of parenthood …AND a sitcom so you see, definitely no TIME to have a baby for my art…
And that’s about it for now! Thanks for reading or fucking off to read all about that amazing mattress you saw on Google ads.
PS: My FIVE STAR (go me!) rated book Sleep Is For The Weak- which is an antithesis to baby sleep advice – is available on Amazon right now..