WHILE many people across the UK (Ok about five) are basking in the current heatwave, there are some of us who are
not enjoying this hot weather.
Parents. Mums and dads across the country are hot, bothered and stressed because their little angels just won’t go to sleep at night.
As a result everyone in the house is tired, sweaty grumpy and longing for those wonderful Beast From The East days.
But fear not my shattered sweating friends. Help is at hand.
Here is the
only guide you need on how to get your kids to sleep when it’s really bloody hot
Tearfulness, anxiety, loss of or increased appetite, exhaustion, lack of motivation and irritability are all symptoms of sleep-deprivation.
They are also symptoms of depression.
This coupled with the fact that depression can lead to exhaustion and exhaustion can make you feel low is why so many cases of postnatal depression go undiagnosed.
The mother often believes she is just totally and utterly shattered and that she’d be fine if she could JUST GET SOME BLOODY SLEEP!
According to the latest set of pointless infant sleep
guidelines by another Academy Of Expert Twats Who Have No Idea How Human Babies Actually Work,
‘Sleeping fewer than the recommended hours is associated with attention, behaviour and learning problems. Insufficient sleep also increases the risk of accidents, injuries, hypertension, obesity, diabetes and depression.’
Have you forgotten what it is like to sleep for an entire night? Do you regularly Google ‘can you die from lack of sleep?’
Then this may your life now…
1) You have a panic attack if you have to leave the house after 8pm.
2) You have a panic attack if you have to leave the house before 8am. Continue reading
Welcome to Baby-Trapped: Some things to entertain, inspire and pass the time when your kid won’t go the f*ck to sleep…
It has been a while since the last post because well, Christmas. No one warned me that the festive season gets TEN TIMES BUSIER once you have a child at school. Seriously.. Nativity, fayres, fetes, carol concerts, parties, trips, I HAD TO DECORATE A BLOODY JAR FOR GOD’S SAKE. Anyway, excuses over. Here is some stuff for those of you who are under a baby, feeding a baby or just too DAMN TIRED to do anything other than dick about on your phone.
According to the Internet, the sleep-deprived among us are well on our way to becoming obese, diabetic and depressed.
But I am here to tell you that are actually some amazing benefits to being woken up every night by a baby!
EXPECTING your first child is an exciting time (when I say an exciting time. Exciting for you and your partner – boring as hell for everyone else).
“We are going to be actual grown up parents,” you exclaim, waving around a urine-covered stick, “to a cute little baby!”
WHEN I was pregnant for the first time I was obsessed with getting everything ‘ready for the baby’.
‘I will write a list.’ I declared a month before my daughter was due to arrive. ‘ You can’t go wrong with a list.’
I recently found the list in question and discovered that pre-motherhood I was an idiot (and slightly obsessed with
One Born Every Minute). Continue reading
SOMETIMES I get to the end of the day and I know I have been busy. I am tired, I haven’t eaten lunch, my back aches and I can’t remember when I last sat down.
Yet, I look around me. The washing up bowl is full of dirty dishes, there is a grubby baby sock on the kitchen sideboard, there are toys everywhere, and the baby is covered in this morning’s Weetabix.
What have I actually been doing? Continue reading
When you have babies it can be a challenge to find the time (or energy) for any postnatal ‘ romance’ with your partner. After all, you are too busy trying to deal with postnatal everything else…
But do not fear. Help is at hand.
Here is my guide on how to have some post-baby action: Continue reading