I have a confession to make.
When I was a new mum I did NOT cherish every moment with my baby. In fact, I actually wanted to punch most of the moments in the face. My life consisted of trying to get my daughter to sleep, trying to get some sleep and stumbling around the house like a zombie not cherishing anything at all BECAUSE I WAS TOO BLOODY TIRED. Continue reading
Does your baby wake up the moment you even think about transferring her to a cot? Or does she totally lose her shit if you put her down drowsy but awake?
Then this is the method for you.
Following new research that 99% of babies believe that self-soothing is bollocks, The Institute of Real Life People with Actual Babies has launched a comprehensive guide to putting a sleeping infant into a cot.
WHEN it comes to getting babies to sleep, there is an abundance of advice available on the Internet, in books and from random strangers in the supermarket.
Whether you are looking to co-sleep with your baby, leave them to cry or have some fun with Ferberization – there really a method for everyone.
To help you decide how best to train your offspring, here is a comprehensive guide to some of the most popular sleep techniques (that probably won’t work): Continue reading
Welcome to Baby-Trapped: Some things to entertain, inspire and pass the time when your baby won’t go the f*ck to sleep…
Happy Half Term Monday!
ME (last week): Roll on half term! It’ll be nice to spend some quality time with both the children.
ME (Today at 4pm): Stop hitting your sister, who had it first? Get off the window sill, no you cannot have another biscuit, leave your sister alone, I don’t know who’s turn it is, No, No, No, In a minute, I only have TWO hands, socks do not go in the toilet, come and eat your dinner, DINNER TIME, where are your clothes, is that wee, stop climbing, stop fighting, STOP SHOUTING!!! WHERE IS THE WINE?!!
F*CK YOU HALF TERM. Continue reading
Have a major procedure in hospital that results in physical pain and discomfort.
Do not sleep or eat for at least three days.
Ensure you are extremely hormonal.
Now you are ready to take on the biggest challenge of your life. Continue reading
Our latest Sleep Thief Survivor Steph Douglas is mother to toddlers Buster (4) and Mabel (2).
She was inspired to set up her unique business after she received countless bunches of flowers following the birth of her eldest child, Buster.
However, she found she lacked the energy (or vases) to care for anything other than her newborn! As a result, the 34-year-old launched Don’t Buy Her Flowers which offers thoughtful care packages for new mums.
YOU have just pushed a small human out of you, you haven’t slept in days, you are sore, your boobs hurt and your hormones are all over the place.
Yet, people feel this would be a good time to come and visit you and your new baby.
No, people it is not. Continue reading
When I came home from hospital with my first baby I became obsessed with everything being ‘normal.’ Is what my baby doing normal? Am I normal? Is this normal, is that normal?
I did everything I could to check that my newborn was progressing normally. I studied developmental charts in the What To Expect books and signed up for those monthly ‘Why The Hell Is My Baby Not Doing This Yet?’ emails that list all the things your little one really should be doing by now.
If you are a brand-new parent, a quick word of advice… Continue reading