Does your baby wake up the moment you even think about transferring her to a cot? Or does she totally lose her shit if you put her down drowsy but awake?
Then this is the method for you.
Following new research that 99% of babies believe that self-soothing is bollocks, The Institute of Real Life People with Actual Babies has launched a comprehensive guide to putting a sleeping infant into a cot.
Get your baby Transfer Ready in just 28 easy steps.
1)Make sure baby is asleep not drowsy
2) Wait ten minutes
3) Wait another ten minutes
4) Check baby’s limbs are limp
5) Wait ten minutes
6) Double check limp limbs
7) THINK about putting baby in the cot
8) Realise you have missed ‘deep’ stage of sleep cycle
9) Spend ten minutes trying to work out sleep cycle timings
10) Slowly move towards the cot
11) Stand next to cot
12) Hold your breath ten minutes
13) Lower baby slowly into cot
14) Put baby down in cot ensuring your arm is under her. YOU MUST BE AT ONE WITH THE COT.
15) Wait ten minutes (or until you can no longer feel your arm
16) Slowly remove arm and place hand on top of baby
17) Spend ten minutes praying for baby to stay asleep
18) Remove hand from baby (replace with cuddly toy – optional)
19) Wait ten minutes
20) Take one small step away from cot
21) Wait ten minutes
22) Silently creep towards door. Make no sound.
23) Wait ten minutes by the door
24) Open door
25) Leave room and stand outside door for ten minutes
26) Peep at baby from doorway
27) Wait ten minutes
28) Slowly back away from the room. DON’T LOOK BACK. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT LOOKING BACK.
Congratulations! Your baby is now down for the night… well, possibly for long enough for you to pour a glass of wine. GO NOW, QUICKLY.
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