Why won’t my baby sleep?

How to survive a holiday when your baby won’t sleep

Emily-Jane Leave a comment

yuck pebbles“You need a holiday,” people would tell me.

I was the mother of two children under two who did not sleep. I was tired, stressed and felt like I hadn’t sat down in years. Of course I needed a holiday. But when you are so sleep-deprived that even a trip to the Big Tesco is a major operation, the mere thought of a holiday can be terrifying.

“The sea air will help the baby sleep,” they said.

“All the excitement will tire the kids out,”’ people assured me.

 

Continue reading →

26 lies tired parents tell

Emily-Jane 21 Comments

baby won't sleepI have a confession to make.

Since having babies I have become a big fat liar.

I am not proud of myself, but sometimes lying (and coffee, so much coffee) is the only way to survive  The truth would simply hurt too much (or make you look like a miserable twat) so telling the odd fib is a necessary evil.

If you are a tired parent, then here are a few untruths that you might recognise (or maybe I am  just a miserable twat): Continue reading →

How not to survive your child’s first day at school

Emily-Jane 2 Comments

Since becoming a mother I have made my fair share of silly mistakes.

But never before had the stakes been so high…

I grabbed my two-year-old daughter and headed for the exit of the busy supermarket.

She screamed in objection to the sudden urgency, but I needed to get out of there. Time was running out. Continue reading →

Why I am glad my baby did not sleep

Emily-Jane 30 Comments

isla-sleep

My firstborn started school in September.

I am now a proper grown-up parent with a schoolchild. I have  to get everyone up, dressed and somewhere on time, in clean uncreased clothes, every morning. There will soon be homework, phonics, forms and parents evenings.

I have to kiss my four-year-old daughter goodbye FIVE days a week, and send her off to face new challenges and situations, without me. Continue reading →

How to pick up women when you have babies

Emily-Jane 2 Comments

sleep deprived mum friendsMotherhood can be lonely, but if you are sleep-deprived, it is a bit of a Catch 22.

You crave adult company but at the same time you are too bloody tired for adult company.

Some days talking to anyone over the age of two seems like way too much effort. But on other days you would quite like a moan, a laugh and a chat (ideally over wine) with someone who gets it.

But it is hard to make friends when you are always exhausted. It becomes difficult just to hold a conversation. It impairs your mental filter, tramples over your inhibitions and makes it hard to concentrate on what is being said.

So unfortunately, sleep-deprived parents are not much of a catch but fear not – there is hope for the perfect ‘Mumance’.  Continue reading →

The Baby Who Did NOT Want To Fall Asleep

Emily-Jane Leave a comment

Best selling book The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep promises to get children to sleep in MINUTES… After reading it to my children I was inspired to write my own bed time story for the little ones who do NOT want to fall asleep…

bedtime story

 

ONCE upon a time there was a baby girl who did not want to fall asleep.

She would much rather stay up all night having fun, playing and laughing than to …fall asleep (shush now darling, let mummy read the nice story).

Her tired parents would embark on the same routine at the same time every single night in order to get her to fall asleep (stop hitting me in the face). Continue reading →

How to get a toddler to go the f**k to sleep

Emily-Jane 2 Comments

Go the f**k to sleepDoes your toddler love bedtime?  Mine does.  As long as I am not trying to actually get her to sleep.

Here are her top five Sleep Avoidance tactics:

-She will always want the one cuddly toy that I can’t find.

-She takes take twice as long to go to sleep whenever I have plans (normally to drink wine in my pjyamas). Continue reading →