Handy comebacks for co-sleepers

WHY is it that when you co-sleep with your child, everyone else is far more worried about it than you?

First, you get the ‘Rod For Your Own Back’ people who are absolutely TERRIFIED for your future for some reason.

Then there are the People Weirdly Anxious About Your Sex Life. Even if, In A Bed At Night was the only place you and your partner could possibly ever have sex (if you weren’t too tired from ‘HELLO’ having a baby) WHY do these people even care if I’m getting any? STOP THINKING ABOUT ME SHAGGING YOU PERVERTS.

Next, are the most annoying of all, the ones that are obsessed with  ‘self soothing’  and don’t seem to understand that BABIES ARE BABIES AND IT IS OUR JOB TO SOOTHE THEM, YOU WANKERS.

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An alternative guide to getting your kids to go the f**k to sleep in a heatwave

WHILE many people across the UK (Ok about five) are basking in the current heatwave, there are some of us who are not enjoying this hot weather.

Parents.  Mums and dads across the country are hot, bothered and stressed because their little angels just won’t go to sleep at night.

As a result everyone in the house is tired, sweaty grumpy and longing for those wonderful Beast From The East days.

But fear not my shattered sweating friends. Help is at hand.

Here is the only guide you need on how to get your kids to sleep when it’s really bloody hot

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Five Minutes’ Peace: TheUncut Version

THE children were having breakfast. This was not a pleasant sight. In fact, the kitchen was a complete shit hole.

Cereal was being thrown on the floor, a fight had just broken out over a spoon and the little one was screaming because she had the ‘wrong’ bowl.

Mrs Large was about to lose her shit. She took a tray from the cupboard and set it with a mug, the kid’s leftover toast, a packet of mini cheddars and half a bottle of wine from yesterday. 

She stuffed her smartphone into her pocket and sneaked off towards the door.

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SURVIVOR STORIES: HOW TO SURVIVE A ‘SICKY’ BABY…

The second in the series of stories by parents who have achieved success against the odds. Having children inspired and motivated them to accomplish great things! 

Willow (2)Rachel Phillips’ experience as the sleep-deprived mother of a child with severe Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GORD), inspired her to set up an advice website and online specialist retail store. While the website has become a lifeline for many worried parents, the retail side of the venture has developed into a flourishing business, turning Rachel’s negative experience into a positive.
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CONFESSIONS OF A TIRED MOTHER

CONFESS

I have a confession to make.

I secretly hate parents of babies who sleep through the night.

Ok, maybe hate is a bit of a strong word. I don’t actually hate them; it is more that sometimes I want to punch them in the face.  I am aware this is wrong and I apologise to all my friends with sleepy babies.

It is simply a result of exhausted irritation and just plain jealousy. Continue reading