Welcome to my brand new newsletter for anyone who is lying in the dark waiting for a small human to fall asleep, bored or just really likes reading newsletters.
A bit about this newsletter….
1) Why are you writing a newsletter instead of sleeping or drinking a nice glass of wine?
To share news in the form of a letter with you. Mostly because no one in my house gives a shit about my news. They only care about snacks and going to the fucking park. Of course, there is a big chance that you don’t give a shit either. And you’ll get so bored reading this that you click on a Google Ad just to get away from me, in which case you just made me 0.000001p which was all part of my plan, SUCKER!
2) What will be IN this newsletter?
On a good day I’ll share the important stuff I have been writing like this investigative piece about a mysterious condition my children develop as soon as I switch off their light and say goodnight – you can check it out here ↓
The Internet is great for parents. Not only can you find information on ALL THE STUFF, there are an abundance of chat forums, Facebook groups and websites where you might just find your ‘virtual village’.
However, there are a few people who just have to ruin it for everyone…
According to the latest set of pointless infant sleep guidelines by another Academy Of Expert Twats Who Have No Idea How Human Babies Actually Work,
‘Sleeping fewer than the recommended hours is associated with attention, behaviour and learning problems. Insufficient sleep also increases the risk of accidents, injuries, hypertension, obesity, diabetes and depression.’
After reading advice for sleep-deprived parents on the entire internet, (including Ten Ways To Tell You Are Sleep Deprived – duh, I am not getting any sleep?!) it seems that all I need to do to feel better is to eat nuts, do yoga and sleep when the baby sleeps.
Well, I have no time (or energy) for yoga, my baby doesn’t sleep and the only nuts I consume are in a Snickers bar – so I came up with my own list… Continue reading →
AFTER wasting the best part of two and a half years trying sleep techniques, following advice and reading all the Get Your Baby To Sleep If You Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Read Another Boring Book on Getting Babies To Sleep books, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. Continue reading →