It’s fast-approaching that time of year when many parents will be preparing to send their little ones off to school or pre-school for the very first time…
When I say preparing, I mean, lying awake at night worrying about the best way to get your child ready for this important milestone.
How can I help my child do well at school? What if she hates it? What if she cries at the school gates? What if I cry at the school gates? How can I make sure she eats her lunch? Will Best of Both bread be frowned upon?
My daughter starts pre-school this year. In just a few weeks time I will have to wave goodbye and leave her to embark on her academic journey – without me.
I am not sure I am ready for this. It feels like only yesterday she was a tiny baby in my arms. Now just as I am getting to grips with toddlerhood, I have a whole new set of things to worry about.
Will she make it to the toilet on time? Will they help her wash her hands? Should she be able to draw something other than squiggly lines by now? Or do her shoes up? What if all the other children can draw landscapes and tie shoelaces and she can’t?
I am even worrying about lunchboxes. Surely lunchboxes should not be this stressful. But there are a lot of styles out there. Is there a particular box the kids are using these days? If she has the wrong lunchbox will she get upset or will the other kids laugh at her?
At least at home I can protect her from horrible children, germs and loom bands! While she is in my care I can hold her when she cries or comfort her when she feels sad. I can make her laugh when she is grumpy or kiss her better when she falls over. I can untwist her knickers when she pulls them up the wrong way, I can wash her hands before lunch and tell her it is ok if she can’t do something right first time. But what will she do when I am not there?
In the end, I did what I always do when I have no idea what I am doing – rang my mum.
“Mum, I have three weeks until the toddler starts school and I have no idea what to do…I have not even brought a lunchbox or a pencil case. What if I can’t get us all ready in time if I have had a bad night with the baby? Should she be able to draw a face yet? SHE CAN’T EVEN DRAW A FACE FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I am just not going to send her. Shall I just not send her mother?”
“Right,” said my mum calmly. “The main thing is that she enjoys it and has fun. She will learn as she goes along.”
“Fun? That’s it?”
“Oh, and try not to drop her off in your pyjamas. It will inevitably be the one time the teacher wants to talk to you.”
“As if I would do that…” At this point I realised it was 11am and we were all still in our pyjamas. She had a point.
So then I did what I always do when I have no idea what I am doing (and have disregarded everything my mother has told me). I consulted Google. What I needed was a list. A list to tell me what the hell to do – and preferably one that won’t advise me to brush up on my maths.
Ten Proven Ways To help Your Child Do Well At School was just the list I was looking for! Apparently, rather than frantically forcing fractions on your child or replacing The Gruffalo with the complete works of Shakespeare – the key to a child’s success at school is simply adopting a healthy learning attitude. And showing them that failure is a stepping stone to success and making learning an activity that they love are some of the most valuable lessons they can learn at this stage. I think even I can manage that.
So, it seems that maybe I have been worrying a bit too much, and maybe, just maybe, my mum was right…
In conclusion, I have come up with a list of things I am pretty sure won’t help my daughter do well at school.
1. Buying her the right lunchbox. Whether she chooses the Fireman Sam box or the one with princesses emblazoned over it – I imagine it will have no bearing on her academic achievements.
2. Giving way to tears at the school gates. This will probably just a) Make her cry, or b) embarrass her. So I must be strong!
3. Teaching her to paint like Da Vinci. I am pretty sure that by attempting to get her to ‘refine’ her art every day this week, the only thing I have succeeded in doing is to make her sick of painting.
4. Telling her not to reply to all questions with ‘poo’ or ‘bum’ like she does at home. She responded to this request by shouting ‘POO BUM POO AT HOME’. Continuously. Lesson learnt. Tell a toddler not to do something and they will most definitely do it!
5. Buying her expensive trainers. When I was at school I told my parents I definitely needed Nike Air trainers. They told me they couldn’t afford them and bought me Nicks from Poundstretcher. I told them they had ruined my life. It is a miracle I managed to pass my exams and go on to study at university under the circumstances.
So with term time almost upon us we are finally good to go…sort of…
Has anyone else got a toddler about to go up to pre-school/school? How are you preparing for this? For some great advice visit schoolguide.co.uk. Feel free to comment in the box below or join us for a chat on Facebook or Twitter.
How To Survive A Sleep Thief 
Aaaah, I will never forget the drama we or rather “I” lived through before my baby started school. We had sent in an application the school we wanted for him. Worried about his age we met with the principal who told us not to worry about a thing. A few weeks before school was supposed to start, I receive an SMS (yes, an SMS) that they regretted to inform me my son would not be accepted. I was in the middle of meeting at work and I felt myself start to boil at which point I left the meeting room and did all my screaming right outside the door. Anyway, we went on holiday to Germany and during our trip, my sister in law says she knows someone and this new amazing school and that she’d see what she could do. The day we got back home we heard they had accepted him, and that he would start the the following day. I tried hard to be strong, but I was neither strong nor happy. After my baby went to bed, I broke down on the kitchen floor and wept. I questioned our decision, his readiness, the reason why the school would say yes the day before the first day… I also cried because i suddenly felt like my baby wasn’t a baby anymore, and that before I know he’s be going off to college and then get married and move out and I wouldn’t get to see him everyday or sing to him or read him bedtime stories. Now that he’s almost five and doing just fine even though he still can’t draw a smiley face, I can’t wait to send the second one off! Ha!
Ah it really is a rollercoaster! I feel the same..I know I should be looking forward to having slightly less toddlers to contend with but at the same time it feels like the end of an era! Glad yours enjoys it now. I hope my daughter will to..she says she is excited, so she is doing better than me!!
That’s a really good sign! I hope she loves it!
Love this post. Your fabulous personality shows in your writing. I couldn’t stop smiling in agreement. Well put.
Ah thank you! x
Having exactly the same feelings. My son starts pre school next week and I can’t stop worrying. Will he cry the whole time? Will the others pick on him? Will he eat his lunch? Will he ever trust me again?! He’s only 3 and he’s never been left before. I know he’s ready for it; he has started to get bored. But it doesn’t stop me thinking about changing my mind and keeping him home until he absolutely has to go to school. I can keep him happy and safe at home! And to add to the stress he has his pre school booster tomorrow! Argh!!
I am glad it is not just me! Like your son, I know my daughter is ready but I just hate the thought of not being there if she needs me. I guess we can’t keep them at home forever!! Good luck!
I’m in denial. That is all.
Ha ha
I feel just like this. My daughter is at pre school and now in September I need to look around and choose a school to apply to for her. I dress the mere thought. Her preschool so far is 9-12 2 mornings a week which is bearable. I would like to keep her at home forever please, without worries about friends and progress and she is 4 in 2 weeks and cannot draw a smiley face and and and…..! I love your blog, as always. One of my favourites to read. I still giggle every time I cook waffles/smiley faces (which is frequently! ) when I think of your blog on feeding toddlers (or at least that was part of it). It might have been about getting things done. Keep writing, you make me smile and feel more sane- or at least more normal 🙂
Thank you Zoe! Not just me then! I think the thing is I feel like it has come around far too quickly and I am not prepared! She still seems so tiny to me at 3. I am sure she will be fine..she is excited it is only me who is worried. But if she comes hone asking for bloody Lelli Kelli shoes or make up that is it…home schooling!
So let me reassure you by telling you about… my daughter’s preschool experience. Yes, we’ll start there (and sweep the rest under the carpet).
She loved school from day one and cries when she’s too sick to go. In fact, for the first two months all the other kids cried on the way in but she cried *on the way out*. No kidding. I wasn’t even offended or anything, by the way.
That has filled me with hope. Thank you for the carpet sweeping!!
We didn’t buy her a lunch box at all, by the way. And I don’t think she can draw a face yet.
No lunch box? Not even a designer In The Night Garden Special – What kind of people are you?!
Tupperware people. Also, people in a system where the school provides some lunch for kindy children – so we’re only packing a bit of a snack (except for porridge day when we have to go above and beyond).
So I wasn’t quite fair on you there, and I do have to buy a lunch box for next year (although being Singapore I’m told BYO is the exception rather than the norm so still thinking over how to field that one).
Oh maybe it would be easier to just cut my losses and move to Singapore!
The lengths some people will go to to avoid buying lunch boxes…