IT is Saturday night. The baby is in bed before 9pm. This is good. I am still awake. This is also good. I have a BIG decision to make. Do I have a glass of wine in my pyjamas or do some writing? Continue reading
babies
How NOT To Get Your Baby To Go To Sleep
My first baby did not like to sleep.
My second baby does not like to sleep.
The first time around we tried everything.
The second time around we tried everything else.
Turns out everything and everything else do not work on my babies…
However, after spending the past three years trying to get babies to go to sleep and stay asleep when they do not want to be asleep, I have a pretty good idea of how not to do it. Continue reading
How Not To Kill Your Partner When You Have Babies
EXPECTING your first child is an exciting time (when I say an exciting time. Exciting for you and your partner – boring as hell for everyone else).
“We are going to be actual grown up parents,” you exclaim, waving around a urine-covered stick, “to a cute little baby!” Continue reading
CONFESSIONS OF A TIRED MOTHER
I have a confession to make.
I secretly hate parents of babies who sleep through the night.
Ok, maybe hate is a bit of a strong word. I don’t actually hate them; it is more that sometimes I want to punch them in the face. I am aware this is wrong and I apologise to all my friends with sleepy babies.
It is simply a result of exhausted irritation and just plain jealousy. Continue reading
WHY NOTHING IS WHAT YOU EXPECTED WHEN YOU WERE EXPECTING (BECAUSE EVERYBODY LIES)
WHY is it when you have a baby everyone starts lying to you?
Some lie to make you feel better (health visitors, netmums, well-meaning friends) and some lie to make you feel worse (health visitors, netmums, not so well-meaning friends).
Of course, I only found this out two babies later. From the moment I arrived home with my first born I made the mistake of believing that everything people told me about babies was TRUE! Continue reading
HOW NOT TO WAKE A BABY…
I REMEMBER when waking up on a Saturday morning with a headache and sick in my hair used to mean I’d had a good night out…
But those days are gone.
Life with our firstborn meant that instead of a trip to the pub on a Friday night my husband and I would spend half the evening trying to get our baby to sleep and the other half doing nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING. Continue reading
How To Survive A Sleep Thief 