After reading (probably) all of the lists of tips for sleep-deprived parents on the entire internet, (including Ten Ways To Tell You Are Sleep-Deprived – der, I am not getting any sleep?!) it seems that all I need to do to feel better is to eat nuts, do yoga and sleep when the baby sleeps.
Well, I have no time for yoga, my baby doesn’t sleep and the only nuts I consume are in an occasional Snickers bar – so I came up with my own list… Continue reading
After almost three years of very little sleep I have gone beyond tired.
In fact, some days I don’t even feel sleepy any more.
So I think I am ok.
“I feel fine,” I smile to myself sipping on my super strong coffee. “Today I am going to Get Stuff Done.”
And it is on these days I decide to leave the house.
Big mistake. Continue reading
My first baby did not like to sleep.
My second baby does not like to sleep.
The first time around we tried everything.
The second time around we tried everything else.
Turns out everything and everything else do not work on my babies…
However, after spending the past three years trying to get babies to go to sleep and stay asleep when they do not want to be asleep, I have a pretty good idea of how not to do it. Continue reading
WHEN you have a baby who will not go to sleep or stay asleep, there are some mornings you really do NOT want to get out of bed…
You know the mornings I mean.
The baby has kept you up all night and yet still wakes you up ridiculously early.
Smiling.
What a bloody cheek. Continue reading
IT is inevitable you will go a little mad when you have your first baby. From the moment they arrive your whole world is turned upside down. You are tired, physically uncomfortable and trying to keep a tiny human in tact on barely any sleep… However, if you feel low, hopeless or if staying in bed forever seems like a brilliant plan….then maybe speak to your GP.
Post Natal Illness (PNI) affects 1 in 10 women, yet many people still ignore or hide their symptoms afraid that they will be perceived as a bad mother or weak person.
I did this, and it turned out to be a terrible idea. Continue reading
EXPECTING your first child is an exciting time (when I say an exciting time. Exciting for you and your partner – boring as hell for everyone else).
“We are going to be actual grown up parents,” you exclaim, waving around a urine-covered stick, “to a cute little baby!” Continue reading
ACCORDING to the experts, when you have children, regular date nights with your partner is key to a successful relationship.
Forget communication, mutual love and respect or not marrying a dick; apparently the secret to a happy and healthy relationship is to go on a date. At bloody night.
But according to me (expert on nothing) this is rubbish. Here is why: Continue reading
ANOTHER week, another celebrity is pictured ‘stepping out’ looking fabulous just three months/weeks/days/hours after giving birth…
I am never surprised by this ‘news’.
I am usually more surprised that, with a newborn baby to look after, they actually have the energy to ‘step out’ anywhere, let alone to make themselves look like anything other than crap. Continue reading
To my pre-pregnant self,
If you are reading this letter then time travel has been invented. This is good because it means I can travel back in time and punch you in the face. Continue reading
SOMETIMES I get to the end of the day and I know I have been busy. I am tired, I have forgotten to eat lunch, my back aches and I definitely haven’t sat down for more than a few minutes. Yet, I look around me. The washing up bowl is full of dirty dishes, there is a grubby baby sock on the kitchen sideboard, there are toys everywhere, and the baby is covered in this morning’s Weetabix. What have I actually been doing? Continue reading
How To Survive A Sleep Thief 