Tearfulness, anxiety, loss of or increased appetite, exhaustion, lack of motivation and irritability are all symptoms of sleep-deprivation.
They are also symptoms of depression.
This coupled with the fact that depression can lead to exhaustion and exhaustion can make you feel low is why so many cases of postnatal depression go undiagnosed.
The mother often believes she is just totally and utterly shattered and that she’d be fine if she could JUST GET SOME BLOODY SLEEP! Continue reading
You are in the supermarket.
The man in the front of you in the queue is paying in pennies.
The woman behind him has a FULL trolley.
The check out girl has called for a supervisor.
You have milk, nappies, a toddler and a screaming baby. Continue reading
HAVE you almost passed out doing Pantley or cried yourself out following Ford?
Are you too damn tired to try another stupid ‘revolutionary’ sleep technique that probably won’t work any way? Then help is at hand!
The Institute of Actual Real Life People With Babies has come up with an effort-free guide especially for the extremely exhausted parent.
G.O.T.O.S.L.E.E.P a pioneering method featured in my new book Sleep is for the Weak– is the only no-stress method that actually guarantees to get ANY baby to sleep through the night…eventually. Continue reading
“You need a holiday,” people would tell me.I was the mother of two children under two who did not sleep. I was tired, stressed and felt like I hadn’t sat down in years. Of course I needed a holiday. But when you are so sleep-deprived that even a trip to the Big Tesco is a major operation, the mere thought of a holiday can be terrifying.
“The sea air will help the baby sleep,” they said.
“All the excitement will tire the kids out,”’ people assured me.
My firstborn started school in September.
I am now a proper grown-up parent with a schoolchild. I have to get everyone up, dressed and somewhere on time, in clean uncreased clothes, every morning. There will soon be homework, phonics, forms and parents evenings.
I have to kiss my four-year-old daughter goodbye FIVE days a week, and send her off to face new challenges and situations, without me. Continue reading
Having a baby that will NOT go to sleep or stay asleep is hard work.
They don’t sleep, so you don’t sleep and, before you know it, your house is a mess, you look a mess and your mind is fast becoming a mess.
Especially at bloody 4am. When you have been up all night. Continue reading
I used to have a clean house, clean clothes and clean hair.
Then I had children.
My standards gradually slipped lower and lower and before I knew it, I was eating the remains of a rice cake off the floor to avoid having to walk to the bin.
Not because I am lazy; but because some days, I am just too tired to care.
Here are a few dirty secrets that only a really tired parent will understand:
When I am vacuuming, I will stamp on an old biscuit to make it fit up the hoover pipe instead of picking it up.
I have thrown away dirty saucepans because I can’t face scrubbing them.
I have told my kids the DVD player is broken so I don’t have to put one on for them. If it is not on the Sky planner, they are not watching it.
I have put the same wash on six times because I am too tired to hang it out.
I have thrown out baby clothes after a nappy leak rather than clean them.
I have watched the ‘no signal’ sign bobbing about the screen for hours because I can’t reach the remote control.
I have also watched the blue screen on the CBeebies channel at night for the same reason.
I have taken alternate bites of bread and cheese because making a sandwich is too much effort.
I wear the same pair of socks for at least three days to avoid more laundry.
I like to watch something dirty on the TV
If a child wees on the settee I sometimes just throw a towel over it until it dries.
I never wash my bras.
I will tell my partner I am popping out for milk then sit in the car park outside the supermarket for half an hour enjoying the peace.
I only wash the bed sheets when someone pukes or pisses on them.
I will spend half an hour rearranging the dishwasher so I don’t have to wash up the one cup that won’t fit.
I never answer the phone because conversations are way too much effort.
I use my bag for life to keep carrier bags in which kid of defeats the object.
My TV is permanently covered in dirty handprints.
I will use any suitable substitute I can find when I run out of toilet roll to avoid a trip to the shop. Kitchen roll, baby wipes, the cardboard inner tube, sanitary towels or cotton wool.
I only properly tidy up the house when I have people coming to visit.
Do you have any dirty secrets to share? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.
Check out my new book that contains no baby sleep advice whatsoever…
Just lots of laughs and tips on surviving the sleepless nights . It covers everything from from Postnatal Illness and how to avoid killing your partner when you have babies and how to really and truly get your baby to sleep (eventually).
Sleep Is For The Weak: How To Survive When Your Baby Won’t Go The FzZk To Sleep at book shops or on Amazon now!! Also on Kindle.
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IT is no secret that as a new mum of ONE baby I struggled. My baby did not like to sleep so I was tired. Very tired.
Then, just when I thought (in a Greg Wallace voice) parenting just doesn’t get tougher than this…baby two arrived eighteen months later….and I realised that actually yes, it really does..
If you are considering a second child then here are a few tips!!
Continue reading
My eyes are bloodshot and my head is throbbing. There is sick in my hair and my throat is sore from singing half the night.
I swear that this is the last time.
I promise myself I will do something about it.
But myself has heard it all before.
And she knows I am full of shit.
So Kate Middleton is expecting her her second child this week!
This is great news for the media because I expect there are only so many times they can run ‘stories’ like ‘ROYAL BABY TO HAVE A NAME’ or ‘PRINCESS WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A BABY, SAY BOOKIES’.
And of course great news for Kate, who will have a lovely newborn baby to look after.
As well as a young toddler.
I wonder whether she has thought this through. Continue reading
