How to survive when your baby won’t go the fzZk to sleep

sleep deprivation

After reading  advice for sleep-deprived parents on the entire internet, (including Ten Ways To Tell You Are Sleep Deprived – duh, I am not getting any sleep?!)  it seems that all I need to do to feel better is to eat nuts, do yoga and sleep when the baby sleeps.

Well, I have no time (or energy) for yoga, my baby doesn’t sleep and the only nuts I consume are in a Snickers bar –  so I came up with my own list… Continue reading

How to Lose Friends and Irritate People When You Have Babies

lose 2When you first have a baby your friends are great. They come to see you with bucket loads of cuddly toys and coo over your bundle of joy. They will offer to babysit ‘whenever you need a break’ and refer to themselves as Aunty/Uncle….

Enjoy this for about three weeks.

Then the honeymoon is well and truly over. Continue reading

SURVIVOR STORY: How My Toddler Changed My Life!

convosIn our latest Survivor story the Internet’s most famous father-of-two Matthew Clarke tells us how parenthood turned him into a You Tube sensation!

The 34-year-old creator of Convos With My 2-Year-Old was inspired to turn his hilarious conversations with his toddler into a mini-series with a twist – they are re-enacted by himself and a fully-grown man…. Continue reading

Why I am not buying my kids ANY toys next Christmas

chirstmasSo this Christmas I have built magnificent castles out of Duplo, coloured in the entire cast of Frozen, pushed baby dolls around the house in their new pram, shouted “you have to press the button to talk” into Spongebob Walkie Talkies sixteen times, spoken to a horse and Grandad on a toy phone, played the drums and completed three jigsaws…

All by myself.

Not because I enjoy playing with toddler toys on my own, (ok, maybe a bit) but in an attempt to get my young daughters to show an interest in something other than chocolate.

Continue reading

Five Things That Will NOT Help Your Child Do Well At School

SCHHOLIt’s that time of year when many of us will be sending our little ones off to school for the very first time…

When I say preparing, I mean, lying awake at night worrying about the best way to get your child ready for this important milestone.

How can I help my child do well at school? What if she hates it? What if she cries at the school gates? What if I cry at the school gates? Will she eat her lunch? Continue reading

7 Reasons The Beach is Rubbish (According To My Babies)

yuckWE walked to the beach singing, “Oh I do like to be beside the seaside.” The baby was smiling in her pram as the toddler skipped along beside her. She spotted the sea, grabbed her bucket and ran down to the shore laughing…

I ran after my daughter in a designer tankini that had absolutely no nipple leak stains on it whatsoever (you could practically hear the Baywatch music) and joined her for a paddle.

The baby giggled as daddy dipped her tiny toes in the water. We looked just like a family out of a holiday brochure, we were that bloody happy….Oh no.. my mistake, that wasn’t us Continue reading