sleep deprived

Handy Comebacks For Co-Sleepers

Emily-Jane Leave a comment

WHY is it that when you co-sleep with your child, everyone else is far more worried about it than you?

First, you get the ‘Rod For Your Own Back’ people who are absolutely TERRIFIED for your future for some reason.

Then there are the People Weirdly Anxious About Your Sex Life. Even if, In A Bed At Night was the only place you and your partner could possibly ever have sex (if you weren’t too tired from ‘HELLO’ having a baby) WHY do these people even care if I’m getting any? STOP THINKING ABOUT ME SHAGGING YOU PERVERTS.

Next, are the most annoying of all, the ones that are obsessed with  ‘self soothing’  and don’t seem to understand that BABIES ARE BABIES AND IT IS OUR JOB TO SOOTHE THEM, YOU WANKERS.

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19 Truths Postnatal Depression Does Not Want You To Know

Emily-Jane 4 Comments

20150331_105833Postnatal depression is manipulative. It floods your mind with self-doubt and negative thoughts.  It convinces you that you’re hopeless, a bad parent and a weak person. And the more you believe it, the stronger it gets.

Depression is determined. It wants to stay. It will trick you into believing you cannot do the things that will make you feel better such as talking, finding support, leaving the house, talking medication or going to therapy.

Depression is basically a dick. Continue reading →

How to ‘sell’ breastfeeding without being a tit

Emily-Jane 25 Comments

IMG_20131005_143714 (1)Breast milk is really good stuff. We know this.

We have seen the campaigns, read the research and studied the NHS literature we have shoved down our throats from the moment we fall pregnant.

When I was expecting my first child, I was told that breastfeeding is ‘a convenient way to provide you and your baby with a multitude of health benefits.’

To be honest, they had me at ‘convenient’.. Continue reading →

A Sleep-Deprived Parent’s Guide to Cleaning

Emily-Jane 6 Comments

CLEAN

Do you have babies who won’t sleep or leave you the hell alone for five minutes?

Then it is very likely your house is a shit hole little messy…

Not because you are lazy; but because some days you are just too tired to care. When you have been up with a baby ALL NIGHT cleaning is way too much effort.

But help is at hand! I KNOW the secret to having the perfect home when you are too tired to do any housework.

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SURVIVOR STORIES: HOW TO TAKE DOWN A SLEEP THIEF AND SURVIVE

Emily-Jane 6 Comments

The first in a series of stories called Sleep Thief Survivors by parents who have achieved success against the odds. Having children inspired and motivated them to accomplish great things! 

DSC_2669 copyIt was not so long ago that sleep thief survivor Lucy Jones was down, desperate and so exhausted she was hallucinating. However, after finally finding the help she needed to get her daughter to sleep, she decided to quit her career in customer service management and retrain as a sleep coach. The 34-year-old from Lincolnshire went on to set up successful business Love Mornings through which she has assisted many sleep-deprived families across the UK. Continue reading →

SURVIVOR STORY: How My Toddler Changed My Life!

Emily-Jane 2 Comments

convosIn our latest Survivor story the Internet’s most famous father-of-two Matthew Clarke tells us how parenthood turned him into a You Tube sensation!

The 34-year-old creator of Convos With My 2-Year-Old was inspired to turn his hilarious conversations with his toddler into a mini-series with a twist – they are re-enacted by himself and a fully-grown man…. Continue reading →

Survivor Story: How Changing My Baby’s Diet Changed My Life…

Emily-Jane 15 Comments

The latest Sleep Thief Survivor Story is by nutritionist and herbalist Caroline Mentzer.  On discovering that her daughter’s very poor sleep was due to food allergies, the 37-year-old turned her life around and went from rock bottom to a radio gig!  

Caroline & Melissa selfieCaroline’s story:

“Early motherhood was a strange phenomenon for me. I’d been used to filling my time working two jobs whilst studying for a degree. I was blissfully and ignorantly looking forward to Melissa’s arrival so that I could slow down and spend some quality time as a family. After all, how difficult could it be? I was used to working hard, and I was aware that the first few months were tough when your baby needed feeding through the night. But nothing prepared me for the total upheaval I would experience when parenting a child that just won’t sleep. Continue reading →