13 Amazing Benefits to Being a Sleep-Deprived Parent- Sleep is for the Weak

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According to the Internet, the sleep-deprived among us are well on our way to becoming obese, diabetic and depressed.

But I am here to tell you that are actually some amazing benefits to being woken up every night by a baby! Continue reading

How To Really And Truly Get Your Baby To Sleep Through The Night

The Institute of Actual Real life People With Babies (1)HAVE you almost passed out doing Pantley or cried yourself out following Ford?

Are you too damn tired to try another stupid ‘revolutionary’ sleep technique that probably won’t work any way? Then help is at hand!

The Institute of Actual Real Life People With Babies has come up with an effort-free guide especially for the extremely exhausted parent.

G.O.T.O.S.L.E.E.P is the only no-stress method that actually guarantees to get ANY baby to sleep through the night…eventually. Continue reading

26 lies tired parents tell

liesI have a confession to make.

Since having babies I have become a big fat liar.

I am not proud of myself, but sometimes lying (and coffee, so much coffee) is the only way to survive  The truth would simply hurt too much (or make you look like a miserable twat) so telling the odd fib is a necessary evil.

If you are a tired parent, then here are a few untruths that you might recognise (or maybe I am  just a miserable twat): Continue reading

Inside the mind of a sleep-deprived parent (at 4am)

4AMHaving a baby that will NOT go to sleep or stay asleep is hard work.

They don’t sleep, so you don’t sleep and, before you know it, your house is a mess, you look a mess and your mind is fast becoming a mess.

Especially at bloody 4am.  When you have been up all night. Continue reading

BABY TRAPPED: Love, laughs and why experts are dummies…

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Words and stuff along with my favourite laughs from the hilarious Surviving A Sleep Thief Facebook community!

 To join us Subscribe here 

NEWS AND READS FOR THE NIGHT FEED (OR WHENEVER)…

What I have been banging on about this week…

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MY STORY OVER AT EVE

How I met the love of my life…

I remember the first time I saw you. From the moment I set eyes on you across a crowded store I knew I had to have you. Continue reading

How to take care of a new baby on barely any sleep


newbornHave a major procedure in hospital that results in physical pain and discomfort.

Do not sleep or eat for at least three days.

Ensure you are extremely hormonal.

Now you are ready to take on the biggest challenge of your life. Continue reading

How to survive motherhood when you are a human

human-2This morning I was the victim of an assault.

In a totally unprovoked attack my two-year-old whacked me in the face with her sippy cup.

And then she laughed.

So I called her an arsehole and necked a bottle of gin.

I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT DO THAT. Continue reading

How To Get Your Baby To Sleep Through The Night (In Just TWO Years).

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Spend the first six months of parenthood in your pyjamas trying to get your baby to sleep, trying to get some sleep and trying to get stuff done on barely any sleep.

Establish a good bedtime routine. This is key to everything. Babies like to know exactly what to expect. So that they can do the exact opposite.  

Continue reading

Why The HELL is My Baby Not Doing This Yet?

bw whyWhen I came home from hospital with my first baby I became obsessed with everything being ‘normal.’ Is what my baby doing normal? Am I normal? Is this normal, is that normal?

I did everything I could to check that my newborn was progressing normally. I studied developmental charts in the What To Expect books and signed up for those monthly ‘Why The Hell Is My Baby Not Doing This Yet?’ emails that list all the things your little one really should be doing by now.

If you are a brand-new parent, a quick word of advice… Continue reading

7 Reasons Why Date Nights Are Not Worth The Effort

705428_78602247WHEN you have children, regular date nights with your partner are key to maintaining a happy, healthy relationship…(according to a magazine I read in the doctor’s surgery).

Forget communication, respect and not being a dick to each other; apparently the secret to a successful relationship is to go on a date. At NIGHT.

But according to me this is rubbish. Here is why: Continue reading