Since having a baby do you occasionally feel tearful and a bit sweary? Are you sometimes a bit of a dick for no apparent reason?
Then you are probably experiencing a Mental Leap in your parental development.
Thanks to new research by The Institute of Real Life People With Actual Babies, we are now able to predict exactly when sleep-deprived parents can expect to go through these ‘fussy’ phases. Continue reading
According to the Internet, the sleep-deprived among us are well on our way to becoming obese, diabetic and depressed.
But I am here to tell you that are actually some amazing benefits to being woken up every night by a baby! Continue reading
HAVE you almost passed out doing Pantley or cried yourself out following Ford?
Are you too damn tired to try another stupid ‘revolutionary’ sleep technique that probably won’t work any way? Then help is at hand!
The Institute of Actual Real Life People With Babies has come up with an effort-free guide especially for the extremely exhausted parent.
G.O.T.O.S.L.E.E.P a pioneering method featured in my new book Sleep is for the Weak– is the only no-stress method that actually guarantees to get ANY baby to sleep through the night…eventually. Continue reading
My firstborn started school in September.
I am now a proper grown-up parent with a schoolchild. I have to get everyone up, dressed and somewhere on time, in clean uncreased clothes, every morning. There will soon be homework, phonics, forms and parents evenings.
I have to kiss my four-year-old daughter goodbye FIVE days a week, and send her off to face new challenges and situations, without me. Continue reading
Motherhood can be lonely, but if you are sleep-deprived, it is a bit of a Catch 22.
You crave adult company but at the same time you are too bloody tired for adult company.
Some days talking to anyone over the age of two seems like way too much effort. But on other days you would quite like a moan, a laugh and a chat (ideally over wine) with someone who gets it.
But it is hard to make friends when you are always exhausted. It becomes difficult just to hold a conversation. It impairs your mental filter, tramples over your inhibitions and makes it hard to concentrate on what is being said.
So unfortunately, sleep-deprived parents are not much of a catch but fear not – there is hope for the perfect ‘Mumance’. Continue reading
Have a major procedure in hospital that results in physical pain and discomfort.
Do not sleep or eat for at least three days.
Ensure you are extremely hormonal.
Now you are ready to take on the biggest challenge of your life. Continue reading
‘SIXTEEN hours they say she needs! What are we doing wrong?’ I yell at my husband, who rolls over sleepily to join me for our regular nightly debate.
‘Is she hungry? Is she teething? Is she eating her teeth? She falls fast asleep on me but as soon as I even think about putting her in the cot she wakes up screaming!’
‘Do you check her limbs are limp?’ He enquired. Continue reading
It finally happened.
The baby slept through the night for the FIRST time ever.
For eight hours straight, I did not have to get up and feed, change, or cuddle a baby.
I did not have to make a drink, find a dummy, sing, shush, walk, rock or explain to anyone that it was SLEEP time. Continue reading
AFTER wasting the best part of two and a half years trying sleep techniques, following advice and reading all the Get Your Baby To Sleep If You Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Read Another Boring Book on Getting Babies To Sleep books, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. Continue reading
My first baby did not like to sleep.
My second baby does not like to sleep.
The first time around we tried everything.
The second time around we tried everything else.
Turns out everything and everything else do not work on my babies…
However, after spending YEARS trying to get babies to go to sleep and stay asleep when they do not want to be asleep, I have a pretty good idea of how not to do it. Continue reading
