go the fuck to sleep

Sleep Is For The Weak: The Book

Emily-Jane Leave a comment

Sleep Is For The Weak  is for anyone who has ever been kept awake by a baby…night, after night, after night…

This book won’t tell you how to get your baby to sleep but it will show you how to stay awake successfully.

sleep is for the weak book

I am not going to lie.

This book will not tell you how to get your baby to sleep through the night.

In fact, it won’t even tell you how to get them to take a nap.

But it WILL teach you how NOT to sleep through the night without punching someone in the face, killing your partner or selling your offspring to  a travelling circus.

It also provides realistic sleep guides, humorous no-sleep solutions, hilarious imagery and lots of REAL TRUE facts by the Institute of Real Life People With Actual Babies. Continue reading →

How Babies Actually Work

Emily-Jane 6 Comments

A STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO BABIES BY BABIES

LESSON 2: AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO SLEEPING OUTSIDE THE WOMB 

Babies wake up during the night because they are babies and it is what they do. This is a fact.

Yet, so many proper grown up people who have been to school and everything, some who have even written books about babies will not accept this.

They try and work out how to fix us when in actual fact we are just BEING BABIES and sleeping outside of mummy’s lush womby palace kind of takes some getting used to.. Continue reading →

Tired Mum Versus Google…

Emily-Jane 2 Comments

TIRED MUM: Dear Google, can you die from sleep deprivation?

GOOGLE: In the 1980s, a researcher named Allan Rechtschaffen conducted a series of ground-breaking experiments on rats who died. After 32 days of total sleep deprivation, all the rats were dead.’

TIRED MUM: But what about humans? Google, what are the effects of sleep-deprivation on humans?

GOOGLE: Regular poor sleep puts you at risk of various conditions, including depression, heart disease and diabetes – and it shortens your life expectancy.

TIRED MUM: Oh god!

GOOGLE: Oh and it might make you obese.

TIRED MUM: Anything else?

GOOGLE: Hallucinations, possible brain damage…

TIRED MUM:  OK, ok stop. I don’t want to hear anymore. So what can I do? I can stop this, right? Google, how can I prevent the effects of sleep deprivation?

GOOGLE: Get some sleep.

TIRED MUM: But I have a baby!

Continue reading →