Handy Comebacks For Co-Sleepers

WHY is it that when you co-sleep with your child, everyone else is far more worried about it than you?

First, you get the ‘Rod For Your Own Back’ people who are absolutely TERRIFIED for your future for some reason.

Then there are the People Weirdly Anxious About Your Sex Life. Even if, In A Bed At Night was the only place you and your partner could possibly ever have sex (if you weren’t too tired from ‘HELLO’ having a baby) WHY do these people even care if I’m getting any? STOP THINKING ABOUT ME SHAGGING YOU PERVERTS.

Next, are the most annoying of all, the ones that are obsessed with  ‘self soothing’  and don’t seem to understand that BABIES ARE BABIES AND IT IS OUR JOB TO SOOTHE THEM, YOU WANKERS.

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How to get a toddler to go the f**k to sleep

Go the f**k to sleepDoes your toddler love bedtime?  Mine does.  As long as I am not trying to actually get her to sleep.

Here are her top five Sleep Avoidance tactics:

-She will always want the one cuddly toy that I can’t find.

-She takes take twice as long to go to sleep whenever I have plans (normally to drink wine in my pjyamas). Continue reading