How to pick up women when you have babies

sleep deprived mum friendsMotherhood can be lonely, but if you are sleep-deprived, it is a bit of a Catch 22.

You crave adult company but at the same time you are too bloody tired for adult company.

Some days talking to anyone over the age of two seems like way too much effort. But on other days you would quite like a moan, a laugh and a chat (ideally over wine) with someone who gets it.

But it is hard to make friends when you are always exhausted. It becomes difficult just to hold a conversation. It impairs your mental filter, tramples over your inhibitions and makes it hard to concentrate on what is being said.

So unfortunately, sleep-deprived parents are not much of a catch but fear not – there is hope for the perfect ‘Mumance’.  Continue reading

BABY TRAPPED: Love, laughs and why experts are dummies…

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Words and stuff along with my favourite laughs from the hilarious Surviving A Sleep Thief Facebook community!

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NEWS AND READS FOR THE NIGHT FEED (OR WHENEVER)…

What I have been banging on about this week…

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MY STORY OVER AT EVE

How I met the love of my life…

I remember the first time I saw you. From the moment I set eyes on you across a crowded store I knew I had to have you. Continue reading

How to take care of a new baby on barely any sleep


newbornHave a major procedure in hospital that results in physical pain and discomfort.

Do not sleep or eat for at least three days.

Ensure you are extremely hormonal.

Now you are ready to take on the biggest challenge of your life. Continue reading

How to Lose Friends and Irritate People When You Have Babies

lose 2When you first have a baby your friends are great. They come to see you with bucket loads of cuddly toys and coo over your bundle of joy. They will offer to babysit ‘whenever you need a break’ and refer to themselves as Aunty/Uncle….

Enjoy this for about three weeks.

Then the honeymoon is well and truly over. Continue reading

How To Sleep When The Baby Actually Bloody Sleeps

sleepwhenbabysleepsIt finally happened.

The baby slept through the night for the FIRST time ever.

For eight hours straight, I did not have to get up and feed, change, or cuddle a baby.

I did not have to make a drink, find a dummy, sing, shush, walk, rock or explain to anyone that it was SLEEP time. Continue reading

HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND IRRITATE PEOPLE (WHEN YOU HAVE BABIES)

lose 2WHEN you first have a baby your friends are great. They come to see you with bucket loads of cuddly toys and coo over your bundle of joy. They will offer to babysit ‘whenever you need a break’ and refer to themselves as Aunty/Uncle….

Enjoy this for about three weeks.

Then the honeymoon is well and truly over. Continue reading