baby books

Breaking news for bored or broken people

Emily-Jane Leave a comment

Welcome to my brand new newsletter for anyone who is lying in the dark waiting for a small human to fall asleep, bored or just really likes reading newsletters.

A bit about this newsletter….

1) Why are you writing a newsletter instead of  sleeping or drinking a nice glass of wine?

To share news in the form of a letter with you. Mostly because no one in my house gives a shit about my news. They only care about snacks and going to the fucking park. Of course, there is a big chance that you don’t give a shit either. And you’ll get so bored reading this that you click on a Google Ad just to get away from me, in which case you just made me 0.000001p which was all part of my plan, SUCKER!

2) What will be IN this newsletter?

On a good day I’ll share the important stuff I have been writing like this investigative piece about  a mysterious condition my children develop as soon as I switch off their light and say goodnight – you can check it out here ↓

Kid perfectly fit and well all day has 6,000 ailments at bedtime

And also this piece about my current bag situation…link below ↓ Continue reading →

Handy Comebacks For Co-Sleepers

Emily-Jane Leave a comment

WHY is it that when you co-sleep with your child, everyone else is far more worried about it than you?

First, you get the ‘Rod For Your Own Back’ people who are absolutely TERRIFIED for your future for some reason.

Then there are the People Weirdly Anxious About Your Sex Life. Even if, In A Bed At Night was the only place you and your partner could possibly ever have sex (if you weren’t too tired from ‘HELLO’ having a baby) WHY do these people even care if I’m getting any? STOP THINKING ABOUT ME SHAGGING YOU PERVERTS.

Next, are the most annoying of all, the ones that are obsessed with  ‘self soothing’  and don’t seem to understand that BABIES ARE BABIES AND IT IS OUR JOB TO SOOTHE THEM, YOU WANKERS.

Continue reading →

What Life Looks Like When Your Baby Won’t Sleep

Emily-Jane 7 Comments

COFFEEPASSHave you forgotten what it is like to sleep for an entire night? Do you regularly Google ‘can you die from lack of sleep?’

Then this may your life now…

1) You have a panic attack if you have to leave the house after 8pm.

2) You have a panic attack if you have to leave the house before 8am. Continue reading →

Why The HELL is My Baby Not Doing This Yet?

Emily-Jane 22 Comments

bw whyWhen I came home from hospital with my first baby I became obsessed with everything being ‘normal.’ Is what my baby doing normal? Am I normal? Is this normal, is that normal?

I did everything I could to check that my newborn was progressing normally. I studied developmental charts in the What To Expect books and signed up for those monthly ‘Why The Hell Is My Baby Not Doing This Yet?’ emails that list all the things your little one really should be doing by now.

If you are a brand-new parent, a quick word of advice… Continue reading →

SURVIVOR STORY: HOW TO SURVIVE FATHERHOOD (ON BARELY ANY SLEEP)

Emily-Jane 4 Comments
Al & Teddy

Al & Teddy

Sleep thief survivor Al Ferguson explains how becoming a dad and experiencing the pain of a miscarriage led to the creation of The Dad Network. The 26-year-old launched the website after finding there were very few places for men to share their feelings on the challenges of parenthood. Continue reading →

Six ways to have a perfectly imperfect Christmas

Emily-Jane 13 Comments

christmas kids

One of the best things about the festive season is that you can get away with breaking all the parenting rules and blame it on Christmas.

Mince pies before dinner tonight?  Why not, it’s Christmas!

Sherry in the afternoon? Don’t mind if I do! It’s Christmas!

CBeebies for two hours while I recover from that afternoon sherry, you say?  Sod it, it’s Christmas!

Continue reading →

SURVIVOR STORY: Changing The World (Or Believing That You Can) On Two Hours Sleep A Night

Emily-Jane 29 Comments

The latest instalment in the Survivor Stories is by formerly sleep-deprived mother-of-two Leila Boukarim. On discovering her son was a Highly Sensitive Child (HSC) she decided to change the world…starting with a series of children’s books!

leila 2

LEILA’S STORY:

“Prolonged sleep deprivation is a miserable, unnatural phenomenon that will drive anyone to the brink of total insanity. At times, I was convinced it might even kill me. And no matter how many books you read or what people will tell you, nothing can really prepare you for the nightmare that is sleep deprivation.

Continue reading →