Have you forgotten what it is like to sleep for an entire night? Do you regularly Google ‘can you die from lack of sleep?’
Then this may your life now…
1) You have a panic attack if you have to leave the house after 8pm.
2) You have a panic attack if you have to leave the house before 8am. Continue reading
So, on Friday I had to walk through Waitrose with a handful of toddler sick. That pretty much sums up my week. Thankfully, I had already drank my free coffee because I am not sure what their policy is on free hot drinks for customers who leave a trail of vomit across the shop floor. I AM LIVING THE DREAM, PEOPLE.
Anyway, here is some stuff for those of you who are under a baby, feeding a baby or just too DAMN TIRED to do anything other than dick about on your phone. Continue reading
Breast milk is really good stuff. We know this.
We have seen the campaigns, read the research and studied the NHS literature we have shoved down our throats from the moment we fall pregnant.
When I was expecting my first child, I was told that breastfeeding is ‘a convenient way to provide you and your baby with a multitude of health benefits.’
To be honest, they had me at ‘convenient’.. Continue reading
It has been a while since the last post because well, Christmas. No one warned me that the festive season gets TEN TIMES BUSIER once you have a child at school. Seriously.. Nativity, fayres, fetes, carol concerts, parties, trips, I HAD TO DECORATE A BLOODY JAR FOR GOD’S SAKE. Anyway, excuses over. Here is some stuff for those of you who are under a baby, feeding a baby or just too DAMN TIRED to do anything other than dick about on your phone.
Do you have babies who won’t sleep or leave you the hell alone for five minutes?
Then it is very likely your house is a shit hole little messy…
Not because you are lazy; but because some days you are just too tired to care. When you have been up with a baby ALL NIGHT cleaning is way too much effort.
But help is at hand! I KNOW the secret to having the perfect home when you are too tired to do any housework.
Have you forgotten what it is like to sleep for an entire night?
Do you hate 4am? Why do babies often refuse to go back to sleep at 4am?
Do you regularly Google ‘can you die from lack of sleep?’ ‘Why the hell is my baby still awake?’ or ‘why won’t my baby stay asleep?’ Continue reading
IT is Christmas Eve. All I want to do is to go to bed and sleep all day but I have two small children and Things To Do. I hate Things To Do.
‘I’ll get up, get dressed and get organised, I thought as i forced myself out of bed this morning. ‘I’ll write a list! A THINGS TO DO LIST. And I shall do all the things.’
Since having a baby do you occasionally feel tearful and a bit sweary? Are you sometimes a bit of a dick for no apparent reason?
Then you are probably experiencing a Mental Leap in your parental development.
Thanks to new research by The Institute of Real Life People With Actual Babies, we are now able to predict exactly when sleep-deprived parents can expect to go through these ‘fussy’ phases. Continue reading
According to the Internet, the sleep-deprived among us are well on our way to becoming obese, diabetic and depressed.
But I am here to tell you that are actually some amazing benefits to being woken up every night by a baby! Continue reading
HAVE you almost passed out doing Pantley or cried yourself out following Ford?
Are you too damn tired to try another stupid ‘revolutionary’ sleep technique that probably won’t work any way? Then help is at hand!
The Institute of Actual Real Life People With Babies has come up with an effort-free guide especially for the extremely exhausted parent.
G.O.T.O.S.L.E.E.P a pioneering method featured in my new book Sleep is for the Weak– is the only no-stress method that actually guarantees to get ANY baby to sleep through the night…eventually. Continue reading
