NEWS LEAK: Topless models replaced with breastfeeding mums

Welcome to News Leaks – in which I report on the latest parenting news from across the UK (make stuff up for my own amusement).

THE Sun newspaper has announced plans to feature breastfeeding mums on page three in a move to appeal to a wider audience.

The Sun’s editor-in chief, David Dinsmore, explained, “At the moment the vast majority of our readers are men who like looking at tits but we want that to change. We believe that our new breastfeeding page three girls offer something for everyone. Big boobs for the blokes and cute babies for the women.”

Regular readers have expressed fears that this change may make an impact on the content of the publication.

Gary Smith from the West Midlands said: “I don’t think it is a good idea at all. What next? I want to read the hard-hitting news stories The Sun is famous for, not knitting patterns and recipes.”

Fans of the newspaper are also concerned about underexposed nipples.

Mr Smith added: “Everyone knows the nipple is the best bit. Otherwise, it is just cleavage.”

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*Nothing written in News Leaks should be taken seriously or literally because I totally made it all up.

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