I don’t usually post recipes. This isn’t really that kind of blog. Plus, I don’t actually know any.
However, the delicious chicken soup my husband makes is so good (when I say ‘good’ I mean BANE OF MY LIFE) I thought I would share it with you.
INGREDIENTS:
- Chicken
- Toddler
- Fridge
- Pan
Roast a chicken for dinner.
Retain the carcass and announce you are going to use it to make some Delicious Chicken Soup.
Bath children and put them to bed
Return to kitchen to make soup.
“DADDY CAN I HAVE A DRINK?”
Get drink for toddler. Return to kitchen to make soup.
“DADDY I HAVE LOST MY DUMMY.”
Find dummy for toddler.
Forget about plan to make Delicious Chicken Soup.
Wife throws away chicken remains.
ONE WEEK LATER
Roast a chicken for dinner.
Retain the carcass so you can make some Delicious Chicken Soup.
Wife says: “You won’t make soup, you will leave it on the side all night like last time”.
“No, I WILL make some Delicious Chicken Soup.” You tell wife.
Put chicken carcass in a pan and boil up for stock.
Put kids to bed.
Forget about pan of chicken remains.
At work the following day get text from wife: “I knew you would end up leaving that chicken crap out.”
Wife throws out chicken crap.
ONE WEEK LATER
Cook chicken dinner and boil leftover carcass for a Delicious Chicken Soup that you will definitely make this time.
Wife shouts: “Do you want to watch a film and drink wine before the kids wake up?”
Put chicken stock mixture in fridge and postpone making Delicious Chicken Soup until the following day.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Throw out two-week old homemade chicken stock.
Make a roast dinner and retain chicken carcass so you can definitely, definitely make a Delicious Chicken Soup.
Wife says: “Please do not make a Delicious Chicken Soup. And by ‘do not make Delicious Chicken Soup’ I mean do NOT leave leftover chicken crap in the kitchen.”
Decide that this time nothing will get in the way of making Delicious Chicken Soup.
After dinner boil up carcass for a stock.
Drain chicken stock into a pot.
Discover there are no onions.
Put stock in the fridge and plan to finish making Delicious Chicken Soup once you have bought onions.
THREE DAYS LATER
Remember about plan to make Delicious Chicken Soup.
Look in fridge for the stock.
Find note from wife in fridge. “Throw out this bloody chicken crap and please refrain from making delicious chicken soup. Ever. Or I will divorce you.”
Smile to yourself and think she will certainly not divorce you once she tastes your Delicious Chicken Soup.
Definitely.
Tomorrow.
Probably.
For more of James The Husband’s recipes including How To Make Delicious Homemade Bread (buy all ingredients to make bread, place in cupboard for two years, throw away out-of-date bread-making ingredients, buy all ingredients to make bread, place in cupboard for two years, throw away out-of-date bread-making ingredients repeat x 100) then feel free to subscribe to VIP emails..
PS: I apologise for the extensive use of the hideous word ‘carcass’.
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Two words – Slow Cooker! set and forget 🙂
Ha or set and forget for three days in our case!!
Haha, I love this. I have a very similar approach to making anything other than our ‘usual’ dinners 🙂
Me too! If it is not fish fingers it tends to stay in the fridge until it goes off!
Yes, I now know this about myself and (mainly) avoid planning anything I can’t cook quickly with a pre-schooler winding around my legs and a newborn who refuses to be put down strapped to me in a baby carrier – no health and safety risks there of course!!
Me too normally, but sometimes my sleep deprived more and convinces me I need to be a ‘proper’ mum and cook casseroles…
That bread stuff is slander! I made perfectly good rock hard bread… In 2010.
(I believe you.)
You. Are. Hilarious! (So much so that I decided to read your post at 1:15am rather than wait until tomorrow and go the hell to bed now because EVERYONE has been asleep for HOURS! It was totally worth my while though.)
Thank you! I have no idea what made me write this…something to do with being stuck in the house for three days with sick toddlers….
We’ve been stuck for 3 weeks! I’m going insane!
Yes when you have two it is constant! And you know the moment they get better it ius time for us to get ill!
Awful really, especially when delicious chicken soup is involved 🙂 I’m a big fan of those little bouillon cubes, and for a very good reason too!
Ha ha..I am a bigger fan of the Heinz variety!