How To Make Delicious Chicken Soup When You Have Babies

souprecipeI don’t usually post recipes. This isn’t really that kind of blog. Plus, I don’t actually know any.

However, the delicious chicken soup my husband makes is so good (when I say ‘good’ I mean BANE OF MY LIFE) I thought I would share it with you.

INGREDIENTS:

  • Chicken
  • Toddler
  • Fridge
  • Pan

Roast a chicken for dinner.

Retain the carcass and announce you are going to use it to make some Delicious Chicken Soup.

Bath children and put them to bed

Return to kitchen to make soup.

“DADDY CAN I HAVE A DRINK?”

Get drink for toddler. Return to kitchen to make soup.

“DADDY I HAVE LOST MY DUMMY.”

Find dummy for toddler.

Forget about plan to make Delicious Chicken Soup.

Wife throws away chicken remains.

ONE WEEK LATER

Roast a chicken for dinner.

Retain the carcass so you can make some Delicious Chicken Soup.

Wife says: “You won’t make soup, you will leave it on the side all night like last time”.

“No, I WILL make some Delicious Chicken Soup.” You tell wife.

Put chicken carcass in a pan and boil up for stock.

Put kids to bed.

Forget about pan of chicken remains.

At work the following day get text from wife: “I knew you would end up leaving that chicken crap out.”

Wife throws out chicken crap.

ONE WEEK LATER

Cook chicken dinner and boil leftover carcass for a Delicious Chicken Soup that you will definitely make this time.

Wife shouts: “Do you want to watch a film and drink wine before the kids wake up?”

Put chicken stock mixture in fridge and postpone making Delicious Chicken Soup until the following day.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Throw out two-week old homemade chicken stock.

Make a roast dinner and retain chicken carcass so you can definitely, definitely make a Delicious Chicken Soup.

Wife says: “Please do not make a Delicious Chicken Soup. And by ‘do not make Delicious Chicken Soup’ I mean do NOT leave leftover chicken crap in the kitchen.”

Decide that this time nothing will get in the way of making Delicious Chicken Soup.

After dinner boil up carcass for a stock.

Drain chicken stock into a pot.

Discover there are no onions.

Put stock in the fridge and plan to finish making Delicious Chicken Soup once you have bought onions.

THREE DAYS LATER

Remember about plan to make Delicious Chicken Soup.

Look in fridge for the stock.

Find note from wife in fridge. “Throw out this bloody chicken crap and please refrain from making delicious chicken soup. Ever. Or I will divorce you.”

Smile to yourself and think she will certainly not divorce you once she tastes your Delicious Chicken Soup.

Which you will make.

Definitely.

Tomorrow.

Probably.

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For more of James The Husband’s recipes including How To Make Delicious Homemade Bread (buy all ingredients to make bread, place in cupboard for two years, throw away out-of-date bread-making ingredients, buy all ingredients to make bread, place in cupboard for two years, throw away out-of-date bread-making ingredients repeat x 100) then feel free to subscribe to VIP emails..

PS: I apologise for the extensive use of the hideous word ‘carcass’.


THE BOOK

Check out my new book that contains no baby sleep advice whatsoever (or recipes)… Just lots of laughs and tips on surviving the sleepless nights from someone who has been there!

Sleep Is For The Weak: How To Survive When Your Baby Won’t Go The FzZk To Sleep at book shops or on Amazon now!!

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